Men are like placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table. Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Men are like bike helmets. They are handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly. Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature. Men are like parking spots. The good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped. Men are like copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it. Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright. Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest. Men are like high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it. Men are like curling irons. They're always hot, and they're always in your hair. Men are like mini skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs. | 
