Jack and Mary
Sam, the owner of a small business, hired a consultant to critique his company's operations. The consultant gave Sam some bad news. "Your sales group is too large. You need to get rid of one of your two salesmen in order to stay afloat," he was told.
This greatly upset Sam, for his two salespeople, Jack and Mary, were both very hard workers. He took their folders home with him in the hopes of discovering some flaw which would help him make a decision. But alas, their recent work had been superb.
Sam then decided that the only thing left to do was to resort to random chance. He decided that he would fire whoever came into work first the next morning! The next day Sam was waiting to see who would show up first. Into the office walks Mary, who promptly went to her desk.
Well, Mary has to go, and now I have to tell her, thought Sam.
So Sam goes over to Mary and says, "I don't know quite how to break this to you Mary....It's been a very tough decision for me....but last night I told myself that I either have to lay Mary or Jack off." So Mary says, "Look, you better jack off 'cause I have a headache."