The Christmas Parrot
A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas shopping, and sees a parrot for sale.
He asks the clerk what the parrot's name is and the clerk tells him it's Chet.
He also tells the man that this is one amazing parrot.
If you put a match under his left foot, it sings “Jingle Bells,” and if you put a match under its left foot, it sings “Deck the Halls.”
The man thinks that is the coolest thing he's ever seen, so he decides to buy it for his wife. So he gets home, and puts it away.
Then he wonders what will happen if he puts it a match between its legs, so he tries it, and the parrot starts singing “Chet's nuts roasting over an open fire...”