THE OLD DOG
This elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces,
"My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV and the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you."
The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin.
With a frown his wife says,
"Ernest, he's talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead."