Sunflower Classes for Men at the Local Adult Education Center. Sign up by May 25, 2002.
Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.
Topic 1: How to fill up the ice cube trays. Step by step, with slide presentation.
Topic 2: The toilet paper roll: Does it grow on the holder? Round table discussion.
Topic 3: Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat up and avoiding the floor/walls and nearby bathtub? Group practice.
Topic 4: Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics.
Topic 5: The after-dinner dishes and silverware: Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.
Topic 6: Loss of identity: Losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline support and support groups.
Topic 7: Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.
Topic 8: Health watch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to our health. Graphics and audio tape.
Topic 9: Real men ask for directions when lost. Real life testimonials.
Topic 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation.
Topic 11: Learning to live: Basic differences between mother and wife. Online class and role playing.
Topic 12: How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
Topic 13: How to fight cerebral atrophy: Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
Upon completion of the course diplomas will be issued to the survivors.